Friday, February 28, 2014

The Secret Life of a Not-actually a wife Housewife.

First thing's first: I'm sorry I made everyone wait nine months between blogs! My life got flip-turned upside down (cue Fresh Prince theme song) last summer and I just didn't feel like writing, nor have I really had anything uplifting or amusing to write about. I have four rough drafted posts that I haven't quite finished nor felt like posting, so maybe one day I will. One of them explains my life since July and I am not ready to press Publish on that one.

So the quick version of what I have been up to since we rang in 2014 goes like this:
January 1 - I was in Mexico.
January 6 - I moved back to Winnipeg from Thunder Bay. I will spend the next 18 days watching 4/5 seasons of Friday Night Lights.
January 24 - my car got here from TBay
January 28 - I drove to Fernie, BC, the best place on earth hoping to figure my life out along the way and stayed with an old Cherry Ridge friend in Swift Current to break up the drive.
February 1 - I drove to Red Deer, AB to see my brother and his family .. I still haven't figured my life out.
February 6 - I left Red Deer and drove to Saskatoon to stay the night with some friends cause I was obviously not driving 14 hours in one shot by myself.
February 7 - I spent the day in a Saskatoon emergency room because I had the flu and woke up on the bathroom floor several times after passing out and figured there was no way I was driving for 8 hours if I might pass out again. Special thank you shout out to the bathtub for breaking the fall.... and my face.
February 8 - On the road back to Winnipeg. (This is not as quick as I was thinking it would be .. and I still haven't figured out my life) I have been exiled from my aunt and uncle's place (that is where I live) so I can't get anyone else sick before they go on a trip (rightfully so) and have moved in to Ian's place. Life as a housewife: week 1.
February 15 - move back into my house because everyone is gone to Hawaii and I get to hang out with Charlie, the cutest dog of life. Ian moves in with us. Life as a housewife: weeks 2 and 3.

Now I will get to the point of this post. And I will try to make it short. Although, I'm sure many of you reading this are supposed to be studying and would love for this to just go on forever to help you procrastinate.

I was still recovering from the flu so my plan to finally hit the gym was a flop. So, being a hot housewife who goes to the gym everyday, didn't happen. Slapped that stereotype right in the face.
I mostly just laid on the couch watching the Olympics (NOT complaining, go Canada go!) and eating popsicles - it took a couple of days before I could actually eat. And unlike a normal person who might take advantage of being sick and not eating to lose a few pounds.... as soon as I could eat, I baked a batch of cookies and ate 75% of them.
But my housewifely duties still had to be carried out (or, since I'm not married I guess I'm a housegirlfriend? That just sounds like I'm a mistress or something......). I cooked and cleaned. It was a full time job looking for recipes on Pinterest. Especially since it is so easy to get side tracked and look at EVERYTHING else on that website. I used the vacuum Ian got from my uncle that is approximately 75 years old.. I probably developed asthma from breathing in it's weird aroma.
That's honestly about all I did that first week though, it's all I could manage.

WEEKS 2 & 3 (three is still in progress)
I am back in 'my' house. Luxuries include: a dog, a hot tub, a shower with a shower head that actually has enough pressure to rinse my hair (sorry, Ian, but your shower is so brutal), a garberator (LOL), lots of space and a dishwasher.. just to name a few. Anyone who has gone from an apartment to a house will know what I mean about the space, that's for sure.
So I'm still cooking and cleaning. I have tried a lot of new recipes which I am so pumped about and I've gotta run to the butcher after the gym today (yup, finally started going to the gym.. but that's a whole story on it's own) and get some chicken souvlaki mmmmmm! My aunt and uncle are having their closet and bathroom reno'd so there have been a few people in and out working on that. Charlie and I are becoming best of friends relaxing and looking for jobs for me (yes, this housewife business is hard on the pocket book when you're not an actual housewife) and going on walks and playing in the backyard. I've been shovelling the driveway when it snows and putting the garbage out on garbage day and doing laundry. Face it, I'm the full package. Except when it comes to our little friend, Mickey Mouse. Yes, a mouse. (Sorry to the Matarazzo's if you are reading this ... I wasn't gonna tell you til you came home next week.) I'm just being a wife and baking muffins on Sunday night when my really awesome reflexes see out of the corner of my eye a mouse tail go under the fridge. I sprinted to the couch and screamed and did all the girly things while Ian probably contemplated whether or not he should laugh or be worried that I am afraid of something so little. Long story short, Ian bought traps and there is no longer a mouse in the house.
It is almost the end of my run as a housewife, and let me tell you - as much as I really enjoyed it, I will be happy once I find a job (I'm sure I will regret saying that).
Oh, the topping on the housewife cake is that Chloe came over last night and we baked.
Time for the gym.

Housewife Laura, out!

PS - The only hard part about this whole thing was deciding what to make for supper and hoping Ian wouldn't completely hate it .. especially since he would eat beef 7 days a week if he could. Ground turkey anyone???

No comments:

Post a Comment