Monday, February 7, 2011

Rules of the road.

Hey folks, sorry it's been a while since my last post but unless Perez Hilton is going to read my blog religiously and tell the world how awesome it is .. it's not my first priority. I have lots of school and soccer and work that take a wee bit of my time!!

So this is going to be a rant, but a two-sided one, coming from a driver and a pedestrian (both me) about the traffic on campus at U of M

First, from a driver's point of view:

Dear students at U of M,

You guys are idiots. I learned to cross the road safely when I was like 4-years-old and you are all at least 17. Get your shit together. Stop, look and listen. Just cause I'm driving a little slower since I'm on campus DOESN'T mean you can just cross wherever you want, whenever you want. Especially in winter!! You are trying to climb over slippery banks to get on the road when there is a driveway opening or cross walk like a hundred feet away. Those banks are so slippery after a few people have packed down the snow and I'd rather not have some flailing rah-tard fall in front of my moving vehicle, which brings me to my next point about the snow - I can't really stop that quickly. So seriously, just wait til I'm long gone to attempt to cross please and thank you. I realize some profs are anal about people coming in late, but if I was late every day to stats because I woke up late and can't function unless I eat breakfast, so I sacrificed being on time for class to make sure I ate, and got a B in the class, you can take a dirty look from your prof and get a good grade. (I feel like that made absolutely no sense, bear with me .. it's Friday!). Also, if you're wearing like. All black. And it's night time. It doesn't even matter if you're at the cross walk cause GUESS WHAT I can't even see you. So darting out in front of me and then giving me a dirty look when I slam on my breaks is NOT a good idea cause I didn't even see you in the first place.
Oh here's a new idea. You know how it's illegal to be on your cell phone and drive? I vote pedestrians shouldn't be allowed to walk with their cell phones either. Cause when you're head's down and you're walkin' along, yeah I doubt you're gonna see me. Figure it out.


The person who doesn't drive a brand new Beemer with stupid stuffed animal decorations and fluffy seat and steering wheel covers.


Dear drivers (bus drivers included!!!),

Please pay attention to the road when you are driving on campus. I can totally see you texting your fingers off while I'm waiting at the pedestrian crosswalk where there are clearly posted signs .. and the car coming in the oppostie direction is stopped. SO annoying for everyone but you cause your head is so far up your ass you don't realize you're being a jerk. Just saying. Hmm, my next piss off is when you decide to drop your husband off and you barely even pull over and there are cars coming behind you and you're literally beside a parking lot you could pull in to so no one else has to deal with your stupid car in the way of EVERYTHING. Another thing, don't stop randomly when you see me waiting to cross the street. This is like when my mom does my laundry and shrinks my clothes. I appreciate the gesture that she did my laundry, but in the end it doesn't help unless I become anorexic because now my clothes don't fit. So lesson is: don't stop because A) you will probably piss off cars behind you and B) there could be traffic coming in the opposite direction who don't feel like stopping and then I get smoked by a car because I figure "Oh, that car stopped so obviously no one else is coming and I won't get hit" WRONG.

I started this Friday and now it's Sunday so I think I'm just gonna press publish and hope for the best that this was a decent article.

Don't forget to stop, look and listen while crossing the street.


1 comment: