Saturday, June 25, 2011

diary of a sandwich artist.

Hello all,

I would like to sincerely apologize for keeping you in the dark for the past (almost) 2 months about all of the excitement happening in my life. Or lack thereof. I was super busy playing Bubbleshooter, creeping Facebook, playing soccer, working, watching TV and movies, studying for my Human Phys class that this blog was the last thing I wanted to do. It was definitely not the last thing on my mind though. No sir. I have a pretty exciting list of things I want to write about.

First thing's first. I got a job at Subway. No lie! I, Laura Harrison, am an official Subway Sandwich Artist at the St Norbert store. If you want a sub you better come visit me Sunday or Monday though cause they are my last two shifts. Yeah, I only lasted about a month. I was offered a full time position with a soccer club here in Winnipeg doing field maintenance and soccer camps. Just a wee bit better than "would you like your sandwich toasted?"

I honestly planned on trying to write a new entry after every shift to keep you up to date with the shenanigans that happened but I only have two more shifts so I'll try and just throw some rules out there real quick for you all to learn for when you are ordering your sandwich.

1) Please don't wait until I've put all the veggies on your sandwich to tell me that you want to order another one. Especially when there are 10 people waiting behind you.
2) Please don't talk to me like I'm an idiot. I do go to university so I can't be that bad.
3) When we've been super busy and run out of a type of bread - don't tell us that it's the same as McDonald's running out of hamburger buns. They don't have to bake their own buns, we do.
4) When we've been super busy and run out of a type of bread - don't storm out and proceed to email head office and tell them that Subway St Norbert is the worst Subway in Canada. In all caps. You're embarrassing.
5) If there's a huge line and you've been waiting for a while and you get to the front and STILL don't know what you want. That's just annoying. I'll keep a happy face but you're gonna get some sighs and eye rolls from the line behind you
6) Speak clearly. The food case thingy is at an awkard height for some of us and if you speak at it and I can't hear you, you'll probably get annoyed with me when I keep asking you to please tell me again what it is you want.
7) If you are asking for double meat and double cheese, don't worry about hitting up the gym for a while - they get heavy. Good for bicep curls
8) Please remember to throw out your garbage - the garbage can is right beside the door. If you leave the store, you pass it. Easy peasy.
9) Don't be a grumpy gus. I am being friendly and making you your lunch.
10) When I ask you if you want Jack or Cheddar cheese.. tip #1 they are both white so when you say white - that doesn't tell me anything. tip #2 when you say "just the normal one" I don't know what that means either.
11) When I'm about to make you a breakfast sub and you point at the eggs and say: "Oh, is that the egg? It looks too processed, I'll have roast beef" you're really not making that much of a better life choice.
12) Please don't lean on the glass. It folds down. Real easy. It's only cute and funny when kids do it cause I can say "Woah! You are so strong" but then their Mom who is in a rush gets pissy with them anyways. So just don't lean on it.
13) You don't need to point at the veggies while you say what they are. I could find them with my eyes shut.
14) I will never understand why people crouch and bend to look into the case to see the sauces when there is a list on the glass in plain site.
15) If I put too much or too little of a veggie - please tell me cause I want you to enjoy your sub :)

So I figure that's enough. If I think of anything else that will enhance your Subway experience I'll be sure to let you know. Oh, just thought of something - the gloves we wear, rip really easily and are impossible to get on when your hands are not 100% dry. So after I wash my hands I literally go through like 3 pairs sometimes before I actually get them on - be patient. Would you rather me not wash my hands or wear gloves? Exactly.

This might be my most pointless blog - but let's face it. I haven't had much practice for the past two months. I'll get better now that I'm out of school

Tip your sandwich artist and eat lots of subs,

PS - we really do get tips sometimes, I have proudly accumulated $7.00 hahaha. So rich.

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