Sunday, June 10, 2012

Ode to Wise Guys


Once upon a time, I was 18 years old and I moved to Manitoba to get a post-secondary education. And play soccer. Now, the drinking age in Manitoba, for those of you who do not know (and live under a rock), is 18. Therefore, none of the activities in this here blogaroo are illegal (plus I wouldn't write them if they were, duh).
Try and make US wait in line. We are VIP, thank you very much. 
I'm going to fast forward a little bit. 1 - move to Winnipeg. 2 - participate in training camp for Bison's soccer. 3 - Long weekend has arrived and everyone else is moving in to rez, finally I am not alone on third Speechly (omg that deserves a blog too). 4 - It is Wednesday. Rez night at WG (Wise Guy's). I have never waited in line at a bar for so long in my life, but now Jordan and I know each other's life stories (What a skatch. Also, come to think of it... Where is Pavlik?) Nor have I ever seen people crowd surf out of a bar (That's how packed the line to get in was). This particular night, MTV was at WG. Which means only one thing... PAUL THE INTERN. Once we finally got through the beer tent and the line, we were on a man hunt for Paul. And we found him. And I got my wedding photo taken and life was great. 

Okay. Next night is Country Night - Thursday for those of you with a weird calendar. You know in movies when everyone breaks into a song and dance and you think to yourself "Man, I wish that was real life" Well, at Wise Guy's when the Boot Scootin' Boogie comes on ... it's literally like a movie and if you don't know the dance, you get OFF the D floor. 

K no one wants me to relive my glory days.. so I'm just gonna cut straight to the chase (is that the saying?) and list of the top billion reasons why Wise Guy's could quite possibly be the best bar in the universe. 

1. You can go there any day of the week and there are sweet specials: Monday - cheap pitchers and unlimited perogies; Wednesday - rez night; Thursday - country night.
2. You can show up on your own, and find a group of people you know and it will look like you showed up there with them.
3. The D floor is solid.
4. The couches by the D floor are comfy.
5. It is a hop, skip and jump (but mostly crawl) from residence. Especially if you take Engineering tunnels
6. The shot bar at the back
7.The prize packs you got for being the first one to "Come up to the DJ booth and be the first one to tell me the name of this song"
8. The creepy football players who hung out by the kitchen (added to the ambiance, I guess)
9. Getting in through the kitchen
10. Flashing the Bison sticker.
11. You know you all loved the dirty bathrooms.
12. Sneaking mickeys in in your pants (You know who you are, teepee creeper)
13. I could go on forever.
14. It was socially acceptable to bop around in your sweatpants
15. It was not socially acceptable to basically wear your prom dress, but you did it anyways.
16. It didn't matter if you knew who or what the social was for .. if it was at Wise Guy's you were going
17. It is WAY better than the OC and the bartenders aren't grumpy like the lady at the Cambridge
18. The coat check room was the size of Harry Potter's cupboard under the stairs
19. Aggie's ran the show
20. Seeing everyone in P Hall the next morning
21. You could literally wear heels or slippers - whatever you were in the mood for. And plaid was ALWAYS okay. And pretty much mandatory on Thursdays.
22.You had brawls with those closest to you and in the morning your were besties again cause either you didn't remember or you didn't care. So much love.
My 20th birthday with my knee brace. Hottest accessory of Spring 2010. The bar was empty, not a care in the world.
Okay, so here's the single ONLY reason that Wise Guy's is NOT quite possibly the best bar in the universe: I don't know the actual reason why it got shut down (I still cry myself to sleep at night, btw) but I've heard about there being too many minors (I believe it .. I smell some McNabbs.....) and it not being up to code (anyone who went in there in the day time .. well let's just say it was a little dusty). So therefore, because it no longer exists, it is not the best bar in the universe. That honour obviously goes to ADEN in Thunder Bay The Nob at the St Norbert Hotel. 

So folks. That all sounded way better and cooler and more sincere in my little ol brain. But now seeing it in typing, it's not that great. I know anyone who ever attended the establishment will understand what I'm trying to get across though. 

Finally, a few weeks ago, The Hub opened in what used to be Wise Guy's. I've heard it's really nice and I'm happy that UMSU got to open a place (ONLY TEN MILLION MONTHS LATE). I hope this year's batch of first years doesn't suck like last year's ("We went out last night and are too tired to go out again tonight" WHAT THE HECK IS THAT???) and that the Hub can live up to the times we all had at good old Wise Guy's.


PS - I still have my old membership from 2009. And I will probably get the logo tattooed on my left bum cheek just for fun. $10 to see it.

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