Tuesday, June 26, 2012

What prom?

It is that time of year again. When girls get to be princesses and spend their parent's hard earned money on a dress they will only wear once and guys get to dress up and disguise themselves to actually look decent in the same suit they will wear for the next 4 years until their beer belly catches up to them. They pair up and eat some dinner and prance around on the d-floor before heading off to some mosquitoes and a bonfire at a bush party. Prom and grad season is upon us, folks.

When I first got Facebook, I was in grade 11 which meant people I actually knew and spoke to and hung out with on occasion were graduating. And even some people my age were invited to go to grad night, or prom as some people call it. This, my friends, is where my expert FB creeping started.

Seriously, no one in their right mind can possibly deny the fact they are the ultimate FB creep during the month  of June and beginning of July. You just can't get around it. Every single thing that pops up on your Facebook newsfeed is going to either be a convocation photo, a prom photo or an after party photo.

So back to 17 year old Laura. Just creepin'. (this is the soundtrack to this post: Eric Church - Creepin'. Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkjedhzKHwk) Actually, not back to 17 year old Laura cause there really isn't much to say. Just basically - if you are not in grade 12 or graduating or invited to grad you look at all the pictures in excitement thinking about how next year it is your turn.

Let's fast forward to 22 year old Laura. Four years out of high school. No one who was in high school with me is there anymore except for approximately 99% a lot of the boys' soccer team because they all go back for another year so they can go to provincials for the 14th year in a row. I'm not joking. But seriously, living with Graca this year made me feel extra old because she was in grade 9 when I was in grade 12.

I better cut to the chase here - when I was in first year, the kids a year younger than  me graduated and of course I looked at their dresses and pictures and all that jazz. But then what happened the next year? I don't even remember who was in that class - because I'm pretty sure I'm not friends with any of them on FB. But I still managed to creep. It's something I would only be embarrassed about if 100% of the people (okay, it's mostly the girls) reading this blog didn't do the same thing. I know you do. Stop trying to hide. Then Graca's class comes along - thank goodness I can creep through her FB.

Seriously, stop denying you don't look at every single possible grad picture you can find on Facebook. I know I'm not the only one who ends up on people's profiles who I don't even know...... awkyyyyy... Thank goodness for those new security settings.

Every year the dresses get more interesting and the suits stay the same. So I'll just talk about dresses. Mine was short. Honestly, too short because when I sat down I was .. not sitting on dress. But I liked it. I got it at Nordstrom and it was love at first site. My dress was legit like $70. So what I don't understand is why there are girls with $500 prom dresses. This isn't My Super Sweet 16. My dad isn't Puff Daddy or Cee-Lo Green (I knooow someone out there in the world has seen the Super Sweet 16 with his daughter on it).
Next point, why can I see your butt crack? That low-back is way too low. You are 18 and not Rihanna. Next point, this is not Playboy and that is probably a double push up anyways. Nice try.
Next point, wear your shoes, don't let them wear you. If you want to look taller, wear shoes that you are comfortable in. No one like as a wobbly Wendy.
Next point, nice fake tan. I didn't realize orange was a race.
Next point, if someone has the same dress as you.. just snap a pic with them - it'll be a funny memory. No one is going to come up to you at your ten year reunion and say "OMG I remember you! You and so-and-so had the same dress at prom! So embar, I can't believe you are even here right now." You will have forgotten about it after your first Mike's hard.
Next point, I don't have any more. This is tiring.

So congrats, grads of 2012 - I have in fact seen some photos, and y'all done well picking out your outfits.

Until next time,

Laura Writes-A-Lot (My rapper name)

PS - Here's pics from my grad night. I hope you like my braces as much as I did..........

Just some girls in my back yard. 
Take a picture, it'll last longer.

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