Monday, July 2, 2012

Faces of the gym

So today while I was just pedalling along on a bike, warming up at the gym, minding my own beeswax - I look over to see an elliptical-er with the FUNNIEST expression on his face. And so my idea for a photo blog of faces you see at the gym was born. I'm just gonna post a summary of all the characters you might find at the gym.. which one are you?

Typically, this individual is found in a tank top. He may be clad with a lot of tattoos, and will stereotypically have a mohawk. Tends to grunt a lot, but may be mistaken with gym identity number 3.

2. "I like to think I get all the chicks"
Identity number 2 is very similar to number 1, however, will have more of a clean cut and modest look. Spends a lot of time  making sure he looks good in the morning. Probably showers three times a day. This guy speeds up on his cardio machine anytime a girl walks by. Can often be seen wearing flip-flops and if you want to see them outside of the gym environment, they are probably hanging out with number 1 at the worst nightclub in your city.


Two words: Roid rage. This may not be the case - for all we know this individual is just genetically really muscular and scary. But everyone in the gym is still thinking the same thing. This person is 100%, without a doubt a yeller or a grunter. Steer clear.

4. The Day Dreamer

This individual is usually found on a cardio machine because it takes little focus. You can literally just keep going and going and going and have a stupid face on without even realizing it.
*This one is me on a bike

5. Chatty Cathy
"OOOOOH you are so strong"
Said individual talks more than they exercise. Avoid eye contact and try not to use a machine within a 20 foot radius of this person - this will help you finish your workout in an hour and a half instead of three. Seriously. Individuals 1 and 2 tend to either also be a CC or enjoy their company.

6. "How much longer til I'm done?"

This person is not really welcome at the gym. They just dilly-dally and bum around for an hour until they are actually bored out of their mind or their work-out buddy (not that anyone wants to be this person's work-out buddy...) is done working out and it is time to go. This person needs a kick in the bumoley.

7. Struggler

This person is welcome at the gym. They are probably a first timer or a returner after a long hiatus. This person wants to get into or back into shape and they are feeeeeelin' thaa burn!!! I'm all for the struggler - nothing I like seeing better than someone at the gym for the first time trying to better their own health. Some strugglers are regulars and they aren't strugglers at all, they just appear to be. They are what I like to call the "Unfortunate looking daydreamer" because they just have no idea how funny their face is.

8. The sweater

I know a few of these, myself included. We are like the morbidly obese - we sweat even when we are just sitting on the couch eating. I start sweating the moment I sit on a bike or start a plank (oh gosh, core is a killer in the sweat department) I had to extra large size this photo so you could all get the full effect. Sweat beads all down the face and a soaking shirt - which, when you are a girl, always leaves a sports bra impression. Basically, there is nothing wrong with this person. Until they don't disinfect their machine. Then I have a problem.
*I literally poured water on myself, sitting in my bedroom, so you could all enjoy gym identity #8. I hope you appreciate it, cause now I am cold. And now I have to change my shirt and make more laundry. 

I saved the BEST for last.

9. "I need to look my best" 

Yes, I know. But believe it or not, there ARE girls who come to the gym like this. I didn't even fill in my eyebrows, put on eyeshadow, wear fake lashes or put on any foundation or cover up - some girls would. And I didn't even do my hair. I don't know about you.. but when I go to the gym IF I have anything on it's just mascara. I don't want my favourite Bison Soccer t-shirt to get makeup on the sleeves. Cause I only have about 12 of them and they are super white. In all seriousness. The girls who show up to the gym all pretty are probably so busy trying to look good that they half-ass their work-out and don't get the same benefits as if they gave it their all. This girl might also be known as a duckface because she likes to purse her lips like a duck. I'm sure her lip gloss is poppin'. 

That's it for today folks! I'm gonna be away for a week cause I'm going to the Royal Wedding next weekend and we leave tomorrow. So if you need your Ginger on the Loose fix, just read my old blogs. Duh.

The one, the only,

- Lady Peaches.... I mean Laura.

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