Sunday, December 30, 2012

Let's go to the movies.

Shall we? For real, I am about to do another etiquette post. Anyone who actually knows me knows that I am the last person on earth who should be writing an etiquette article (does it sound fancier if I say article?) and so this is just a sign that .. the world is coming to an end. Maybe the Mayans meant December 31, 2012? Tomorrow is the new end of the world. And if you read this step by step post of how to properly enjoy a movie then you can enjoy your last day at the movie theatre! So pop some corn and read up!

A few nights ago I sent out a mass text saying, "Who wants to go see This is 40 tonight?" I got no responses so I went to see it alone. Just kidding. Everyone answered and a group big enough to fill a row at the theatre went together. Okay, you caught me.. I don't have that many friends. Three of us went. It's not quantity it's quality. We went to the early show cause if you've been following my Twitter (I changed my handle, it's now @lauraharrisonnn .. same with my Instagram. This is a subtle cry for followers.) you would know that I had the flu for the past few days and I wasn't up for a late night. Hmm, I guess I should get back to the blog part that you actually want to read, huh? Maybe I have ADD? I am listening to Phillip Philips while I write this, btw, he is great. The next Dave Matthews (thanks to my Auntie Cathy for confirming that my comparison is a good one). That had nothing to do with any of this.

Back to the movie theatre experience: We pull in to the parking lot. And since we are there for a 7:20 PM movie.. it's jam packed with people. And there is probably a new game of Bingo starting next door at that time too cause turning off Memorial leads to a game of 'dodge the Bingo player' .. a very popular game for anyone behind the wheel at the CLE grounds. So around we go to find a spot as far away from the movie theatre as possible.. just a game I like to play on a regular basis. And I'm pretty sure I won. We may as well have parked at the mall and walked over. However, there was a number of 'half-spots' that we drove past before we found a nice resting place for the car. Now as you read that you probably said to yourself, 'I really would like to know what this so-called half-spot Laura talks about is. It sounds very interesting.' Well, my friends.. it's NOT interesting. Know why? Because it is the arsenals (see what I did there?) of the world .. or just TBay .. who think they can straddle parking space lines like they are a horse. I realize it's winter and the lines are difficult to see and that it might not be possible to park properly but **NEWS FLASH** in case you haven't actually been/seen outside before tonight.. there was a severe LACK of snow on the ground in Thunder Bay. In other words, arsenal, you have no excuse because ALL OF THE LINES ARE VISIBLE.

So folks, lesson number one of the day regarding going to the movies is this: Your movie going experience starts off as soon as you enter the parking lot. Don't be that guy who makes it difficult for everyone else to find a parking spot. If you can see the lines, park between three of them. |_| Look! I made a parking spot! If you can't see the lines, then park nicely beside another vehicle. With an appropriate amount of space between it and your own vehicle. Don't be a jerk and park your jacked up Chevy crew cab with a long box gigantic truck diagonally across all of the spaces. Don't leave half-spots. It's rude.

For those of you who are visual learners of etiquette, we are now inside the movie theatre after appropriately parking our vehicle. I usually use the self-check out stand thingy cause .. well I don't actually know. Probably cause I always use debit. But this weekend I had a free movie thanks to my Scene card (they should pay me for the name drop). That was irrelevant. So, I don't know about any of you but I usually line up behind one machine and then just keep moving forward in that line as people use that machine. Well. The rules on Friday were different apparently and it was a real stick in my spokes. Why? You ask. Well, I will certainly tell you. The rules were different because Sad Sally and her boyfriend Butt-in-line Bob decided that they were going to go from the line they were in to the one my friend was in. Here's a visual: Five machines. All five have people using them and a little line behind them. Me and each of my friends line up behind a different machine. One of said machines becomes available. Before my friend can approach and begin her ticket purchase, SS and BB swoop in and decide they are going to that machine. Awkward sideways glances between me and my friends. Yes, we could have said "HEY YOU BUTTED IN LINE." But really.. We weren't late for the movie and we are too lazy to beat them up deal with people.

Hence, lesson numbaaa two is to respect lines and the order of them and pay attention to what other people are doing so that you a)don't butt in front of others, b)don't get butted in front of and c)I like popcorn. Oh, did I mention that in their haste to get into the movie .. we ended up sitting right beside them. Right in the very, front row. (I totally didn't realize this was opening weekend and we arrived to a 7:20 show at like ten after seven). So they rushed for nothing. HA.

Here's an interesting topic: buying popcorn. We didn't buy popcorn this night but I have made the purchase or two times on outings to the theatre (I hope you are all pronouncing it TH-EE-ATE-ER). I never buy the extra butter. Why? Because it's bad for you. It's gross. It's greasy. And it only lasts for like the top two handfuls anyways. Unless, of course, you ask them to fill half the bag and put butter then fill the rest and add butter to the top..... So this fall my brother and I went to see Batman (SO GOOD) and as he was getting the tickets, he sent me for popcorn and a Coke. I kid you not, I was a good ten metres away when he looked at me and said "Did you get butter?" with the eyes of a person who knows there is no butter on the popcorn. Needless to say, I had to go back and pay the ninety-eight cents and get butter. Lesson number three discuss the option of butter with your snack partner before you make the decision on your own. Cause you could be doing the 'I forgot the butter' walk of shame.

There is just one more thing I would like to say. And this is that it is SERIOUSLY annoying when you go into a movie and there are several single seats speckling the theatre (that alliteration was unintentional but I'm kind of proud of it). I think they should start having assigned ticket seats at movies that way this doesn't happen. There is nothing worse than walking into a packed theatre and having to sit near the front because a couple of people didn't feel like sitting beside a stranger that night. I will admit that I am guilty of this, however, I would never do this at a movie I know is going to be jam packed. This brings us to our fourth and final lesson: Fill up the seats. Don't be that guy/gal who leaves one seat between you and the next person. This just ends up being annoying for EVERY other person who comes into that theatre who has to go a row lower and lower because the good seats are gone. Exception to this rule is when the movie has been in theatres for a really long time and it is unlikely that there will even be enough people watching to fill a whole row.

So did I like the movie? Yeah, I thought it was funny. I didn't think it was funny when the 14 year old girls behind us didn't shut their mouths the whole time (unplanned lesson 5: DON'T TALK DURING THE MOVIE) but the movie itself was, yes. It was kind of long in parts which is always unfortunate. And sitting in the front row never helps but overall I would give it maybe a three out of five? I'm gonna bump it up to a three point five cause I liked the cast.

I'll end on this happy note: My favourite part of going to the movies is seeing the previews. I mean, yeah, it's kind of sad when you see one that looks so awesome and then it's like COMING IN 2016 and you have to wait four years to see it but .. it's still my favourite part. So here is a trailer for a movie that looks like a riot. The Heat. With Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarty. You're welcome.

Next time I write something I will either be in Manitoba or Fernie, British Columbia. Actually, maybe even Calgary if I write it while I'm between. I'll keep y'all posted. Until then.. please behave at the movie theatre. Thanks.


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